All of the below stories are 100% true and either witness by myself or a close personal friend. Enjoy
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Story #6: Time To Leave
Was playing 1/2 NL and this kid went on a sick heater. He was a card rack, catching AA, KK, AK, QQ, JJ, like once every ten or fifteen hands and then getting paid. Fortunately, our table was pretty deep, most of us had $600 or more in our stack since we had been playing all day.
After about 2hrs of being hot, the kid was up $2000 which is no small feat in 1/2NL. He is all smiles and tells us this is the most money he has ever won and that he's gonna take the money and run. He is in MP, looks at his hand, and folds. He then gets up, goes to the chip runner station and grabs several racks. He starts loading his chips into the racks, gets another hand, looks at it folds. He has so many chips that it takes him another hand to get them all in the rack. At this point, he is UTG+1 standing up and just about to leave when the dealer deals him his cards. He looks at his hand, smiles (he's still standing ready to leave), and raises to $20.
Action player to his right, reraises him to $100. The kid just calls.
Flop(pot $200): Ad 2s Kh
Kid bets $200, action player shoves all-in for $600, kid calls.
Turn(pot $1400): 4s
River(pot $1400): 8s
Kid shows Ah Ac for trip Aces
Villain shows AsKs for nut flush
BOOM!!!!
Kid is standing there stunned, almost 1/2 of his entire stack (which is still sitting in racks) was just cut out from under him. He's got about $1200 left
Now he is UTG, still standing stunned when the dealer deals the next set of cards. He looks down at his hand and raises to $25 and the exact same villain reraises him to $100
Kid calls.
Flop(pot $200): Kd 9h 8s
Kid bets $200, villain shoves All-in, kid calls.
Turn(pot $2400) 2s
River(pot $2400) 7s
Kid turns over KcKh for trip Kings
Villain turns over AsKs for nut flush
BOOM da BOOM!!!!
two hands, back to back, flopped top set on rainbow board and loses to the same runner runner flush by the same villain.
It was the sickest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. This kid was racked up in the process of leaving and looked down to play that 'last hand' and he gets dealt AA and then flops top set on dry rainbow board and then .... BOOM!!! Next hand, same thing but with KK and then... BOOM!!!!
Moral of the story. When you rack up to leave, don't bother looking at that last hand. Just GTFO and run, run for you life...
Story #5: Now That's Tilt!
It is your typical 5-200 spread limit game on a nice Saturday afternoon. The table had been more or less friendly and i'm chatting it up with an Asian kid (Jay) who is around 21. He plays soccer or football for Stanford (his number is 23), is around 6'0", 190 lbs and has a very athletic build. He's pretty friendly, quick to laugh, and has been an overall good sport to the occasional bad beat or suck out.
Conversely, there is an older asian man (who I will call Mr. Cho) around 60 yrs old who has been taking a few bad beats. His face is cherry red and he is snapping at everyone: service people, dealer, players, chip runners, etc. He is 5'5", probably 130 lbs and has a few tufts of gray hair coming out of his ears like a Koala bear.
Mr. Cho is UTG and raises to $45 which is a big opening raise for the table. A LAG in MP calls and Jay decides to call from the BTN.
Flop(pot $140): 3h 3s Jd
Mr. Cho bets $100, the LAG folds, and Jay calls.
Turn (pot $340): 5s
Mr. Cho pushes all in for $200, Jay calls.
River:($740) 6s
Mr. Cho shows AA
Jay shows, 23cc and wins with trips.
Mr. Cho goes bat fucking crazy and starts yelling in broken English mixed with Vietnamese. "You ching-chong-motherfucker-ching-fucking-chong-idiot-ching-donkey motherfucker-you"
Of course, we are laughing our asses off which makes him even madder. He gets up out of his chair and storms over to behind Jay and pushes Jay in the back, hard. He says, "Get up, lets go outside right now"
Thankfully the floor is there and pushes Mr. Cho off from behind Jay. Meanwhile Jay has his hands up palms out and is trying to apologize saying, "Look man, sorry, that's my number, I always play it if its suited. Look let me buy you a drink..."
Mr. Cho is having none of it, he yells, "Take your ass outside now, Ima kick your motherfucker ass fucker donkey fucker"
By now, security has come over and is trying to calm Mr. Cho down while leading him outside of the building via the glass sliding doors which are 15 yards away from our table.
There is a nervous edge to our laughter as we watch Mr. Cho being taken out of the building.
We return to our game and think nothing of it when a few seconds later we hear a yell come from outside. We turn around and look through the glass sliding doors and there is Mr. Cho. He's pacing back and forth with his shirt off and pointing at Jay. We could barely make out "I'm waiting donkey fucker".
After about ten minutes of that, the police show up and take Mr. Cho away.
Story #4: Beware of the Angry Asian Lady
(You can skip the purple if you are familiar with Fortune Pai Gow Poker, the purple just explains the game)
My friend is playing Fortune Pai Gow poker at Belagio. Pai Gow poker is very similar to normal poker. It is a table game, you are dealt 7 cards and you have to make the best poker hand out of five cards for your 'high' hand and the remaining 2 cards comprise your 'low' hand. If you win both the high and low hand you win, if you lose either one you push and if dealer beats both your hands you lose (dealer also gets 7 cards)
Fortune Pai Gow is like normal Pai Gow Poker except that there is a bonus bet and an envy bonus bet. These sucker bets pay according to what you have. If you are dealt a royal flush then you get paid 150:1 on your bonus bet IF you bet the bonus.
Now here is where things get interesting and the story begins. There is an ENVY bonus bet and that bet means you play all the bonuses at the table. So, if you are in seat 2 and seat 5 gets a royal flush then you get paid $50.
The biggest bonus and envy bonus is not with the royal flush but with a SEVEN CARD straight flush. If someone gets a SEVEN CARD straight flush then all envy bonuses get $5,000.
So, my friend is playing at a typical Fortune Pai Gow table, lots of action and drunk players. The table is loud and there is this one older Asian lady who is having a bad day.
This lady was down about $1,000 but she was not playing her bonus bets. She kept saying, "You guys are stupid, the bonus bet is a sucker bet" and things of that sort.
And of course, she kept hitting bonuses, flushes, straights, and even 4-of-a-kind. But since you need to win both a High and a Low hand to win, she ended up just pushing with her big bonus hands and not winning anything. But the rest of the table is winning off of the envy bonus. ANd it doesn't help matters that everyone is laughing at her for not betting her bonuses.
Then, the hand of the year happens. She is dealt a SEVEN CARD straight flush. T987654 all diamonds!. The table goes nuts, everyone else has the envy bonus bet which means they each will win $5,000!!! She then tells the table, "Its not fair that i don't win! You each need to pay me $1,000 out of your bonuses!"
A huge argument takes place, the other players are telling her, "You should have played the bonus" ... "Its your fault ..." ... "...I ain't paying you shit..."
But my friend and another player offer to pay her $100 out of their bonus. At this point, the entire game is being held up because she has yet to set her hand. She then says "Its not fair I don't win with this hand" and again she demands that everyone pays here $1,000 out of their bonus. Everyone tells her no so she then says, "Ok fine."
She then KILLS HER HAND and throws it into the muck.
The players at the table go ape shit. Of course, the floor is there at this point and the players demand that they get the envy bonus as everyone saw her hand. But the floor says "Sorry, her hand didn't play, players have the right to muck their hand at any time and elect to not play"
Moral of the story, be nice to angry asian ladies.
Story #3: Too Much Tilt
I'm playing 5/10 Limit holdem and the table is your typical local table. THere is a big cowboy type who I'll call Rex, and Rex has been having a bad night. He's at the point now where he is yelling, screaming, and throwing fits as well as cards.
He gets dealt pocket Kings and raises preflop, 4 of us call.
Flop: Js 2h 3d rainbow.
He bets, two of us call him down and the river brings an ace. I win with the AJ and he goes ballastic, throws the cards and screams "You mother fucker!!!" By now, the table is near tears because we are laughing so hard. Security comes over and warns him that if he can't control himself they are kicking him out of the casino. this was like his 3rd warning.
Very next hand he is dealt pocket Aces and raises, 3 of us call.
Board flops: Ah Kh Qh
Rex bets, 3 of us call him. Now he starts telling us, I have pocket rockets, you need to fold.
Turn: Jh
Rex bets, villian #1 raises, I call, villian #2 calls, then Rex calls. Rex's face is beet red and he is cussing up a storm. After the action ends he starts cursing at the dealer with spittle flying out of his mouth "You better fucking pair the board you cocksucker."
River: Th
Rex checks, villian #1 bets, I raise, villain #2 reraises, Rex shows us his pocket aces before he throws his cards at the dealers face. Meanwhile, me and the villains are laughing and reraise until the pot is capped.
Our laughter has pushed Rex over the edge. He is screaming at us at the top of his voice, "You fucking donks chasing your stupid flushes!!!"
Security has their hand on his shoulder telling him its time to go but the floor manager tells them to hold on for a second. Floor manager points at the board and tells Rex "Look at the board" Rex looks and says, "Yeah, I know they got a flush."
Floor manager says, "Look closer, there is a royal flush on the board, its a chop."
Rex pauses for a second then yells at us, "Why did you fucking bet the river!"
We can't answer because we are laughing so hard.
The floor manager then turns to security and says, "Now you can escort him out."
Story #2 The Bored Whale
Sam is one of the older senile types you see in casinos often, carting around his oxygen tank. Sam owns a few banks in the area and has more money than god. He plays poker for the companionship and the players love him for it.
The game is 20/40 PLHE and Sam sits down at the table. Effective stacks are $5000 but Sam always sits down with $10,000.
First hand is huge, several players limp call until it gets to MP player who raises, then Sam pot raises and the BB reraises that and MP players raises again (which caps it) and Sam calls, MP calls.
Flop: (pot $800) 4 9 J
BB bets 800, MP calls, Sam raises to $2000, BB tanks for a while then calls, MP calls
Turn:(pot $6000) T
BB checks, MP checks, Sam raises it to $6000. BB looks at his cards, shows his neighbor his cards, makes a disgusted face and folds. MP turns over KK and says, "You probably got two pair, nice hand Sam" and he folds.
Dealer starts to push Sam the pot but then stops and says, "I need the cards"
Sam laughs and says, "Cards, who needs cards?" and Sam lifts his hands up and shows that he doesn't have any cards!!! He just decided to see if he could bet them off their hands for the hell of it.
Table is laughing, of course the floor is called and they give Sam a well rehearsed speech about screwing around. But this is a new antic Sam has never done before and all the floor management is arguing about what the hell they are going to do about the whole situation when Sam just says, "Stop yer bitching, give em each $5K out of my box and lets go. I ain't getting any younger."
Story #1: Degen Poker at its Finest
I'm playing 30-60 Limit Hold-em at the Bellagio back in 2005.
We just lose a player and an older white gentlemen in his 50s (looks a little bit like Norm from Cheers) sits down and tells the dealer that he has $2,000 behind (mneaning that the chip runners are bringing his chips). Dealer says, no problem and deals out the hand.
Action gets to Norm and he announces "Raise". Two players call and the BB announces reraise, I fold everyone folds except for Norm who announces Raise. This goes back and forth until the preflop action is capped at 4 raises. Pot is around $300.
Flop: Ad Jd Tc.
Now they are heads up and since they are alone there is no cap. BB bets and Norm raises and BB reraises and it goes back and forth like this for about $400
Turn: 5h.
Same thing, raise, reraise, until $1000 has been bet back and forth. By this point, the table is drawing a crowd andpeople are standing around the table waiting to see what's going to happen.
River: 5d.
Same thing, raise, reraise, reraise, reraise and then Norm says call.
BB turns over AA for the full house.
Norm turns over KQdd for the flush.
By this point, the only money that is in the pot is from the BB since Norm's chips haven't arrive yet. THe dealer counts the chips up and it comes out to around $1400 or so . The dealer then turns around looking for the chip runner. Norm looks as white as a ghost. Dealer says, "You owe $1400, Which chip runner did you give your money to?"
Norm just sits there, still as a statue. The dealer looks at him and says, "Sir, which chip runner did you give you money to?"
After a few seconds, Norm says, "I lied, I don't have any chips coming, I'm broke."
Everyone at the table just looks at each other like "OMG did that fucking really just happen? Holy Shit?"
By this time, the floor managers are all there and they just can't believe it. Security comes and the floor plus security escort Norm to some 'back room' for a talking to.
I never did find out what happened to him.
